so since this blog is actually called lift big, eat pig, i suppose eventually will have to post something about lifting.
theres this gym/weightlifting/crossfit/awesome/crispy saying ‘do you even lift’… yes, yes it’s pretty crispy, and we’ve all had a lot of fun with memes & such.
(i was recently at a party at a house with a freaking lift. i was like, “hey house, do you even lift? ” )
but i’d like to take a few different spins on this classic rhetorical question…
DO YOU EVEN GRIFT ?!
DO YOU EVEN NIGHTSHIFT?!
DO YOU EVEN FACELIFT ?!
DO YOU EVEN REDSHIFT?!
DO YOU EVEN SHOPLIFT ?!
DO YOU EVEN DRIFT ?!
DO YOU EVEN SIFT ?!
DO YOU EVEN SHIFT ?! (1)
DO YOU EVEN SHIFT ?! (2)
for futher information on this phenomenon, please refer to the following educational video.
aaaand im spent!
today, while reading up on trigger points, i have just discovered that there is basically a muscle in the MOUTH called the BACONATOR!!
(technically it’s ‘Buccinator’ – but who am I to argue over semantics)
sweet, i have a new favourite muscle. and now, to make it huge, probably by chewing vast, VAST quantities of bacon.
This was sent to me by a friend who has a friend who has a friend, (well you get the idea) Alexi who’s a chef from Chicago.
She’s very ‘handy’ with a Chefs knife.
Pretty damn crispy if you axe me.
LES FRIKKEN CLAYPOOL (of Primus fame) PLAYING A FRIKKEN DOUBLE-BASS IN A FRIKKEN PIG-MASK WITH A CAVALCADE OF FRIKKEN CIRCUS PERFORMERS PASSING BY IN THE BACKGROUND
what a bacon-tagiously crispy concept!
Science has enriched the lives of bacon-lovers everywhere. A study conducted by researchers at ETH Zurich has concluded that the high levels of Vitamin B3 (known as niacin) in this meat could help you live longer.
To test this, Energy Metabolism Professor Michael Ristow fed roundworms a dose of niacin, discovering that they lived one-tenth longer than those who went without. The vitamin is also rich in the likes of Marmite, paprika, peanuts and sun-dried tomatoes. This is surprisingly contrary to what scientiests believed, because the standard assumption has been that niacin promotes the formation of “free radicals,” causing faster ageing.
An antioxidant-rich diet has been contradicted by Ristow’s findings, which shows that niacin “tricks the body into believing that it is exercising,” perfect for any particularly lazy individual.
Next up will be testing the theory on mice, but for now allow me to personally thank science.
PS BEST COMMENT EVER GOES TO THIS GUY:
My research remains inconclusive, however. It needs to be tested on humans. I have applied for a government grant to fund a comprehensive research program under which my same methodology will be applied to members of Congress. I am eager to begin.
I found this great article on the differences / definitions between free range, bred free range, organic etc etc relating to various animals / meat products. i didn’t previously realise or appreciate the difference between ‘free range’ and ‘bred free range’.
you learn something every day!
normally i’d say, “you don’t win friends with salad”
but this case is the exception!
(for those of you playing at home, you win friends with BACON, obviously)
apparently this is real, but only for male pigs. god works in mysterious ways.
Is there a better way to show your love of bacon forever than to be buried wrapped in it? We don’t think so.
This genuine bacon casket is made of 18 Gauge Gasketed Steel with Premium Bacon Exterior/Interior, and includes a Memorial and Record Tube, Adjustable Bed and Mattress and Stationary and Swingbar handles. It also includes a bacon air freshener for when you get that buried-underground, not-so-fresh feeling.
There are all sorts of unusual caskets out there – motorcycles, PBR cans, iPhones, tanks, Star Trek themes and more. We think that your final resting place deserves the eternal glory that is bacon.
so much awesome. “yeah right Lisa, a wonderful maaagical animal!”
the logic is flawlessly crispy.
Sizzling Bacon Candy not only tastes like bacon, it also turns your tongue into a frying pan. As soon as you douse your mouth in candy, the sizzling sound makes it seem like you’re cooking bacon over a campfire. Except it’s in your head and the campfire is your burning passion for bacon (and your saliva which is what activates the candy). The crackling will continue until the candy dissolves into nothing. Lots of things taste like bacon, but how many sound like bacon? You get two .34 oz. packets of carbonated candy, for a total of .7 oz. in each box. Comes in an illustrated box.
great article about the bacon sensation & some of the more edgy interesting things some chefs are doing with meat candy.
some next level crispiness!
Dear ‘Lift Big Eat Pig’,
Thanks for your kind words and positive feedback about out hit series ‘Breaking Bad’.
However, at this time we feel that a spin-off series called ‘bacon bad’ whereby the protagonist is diagnosed with cancer & begins curing bacon in an underground lab to support his family is just not a viable premise for a series at this time.
In response to your other proposal, we do not think the same show based around baked goods called “baking bad” would work for us either.
Thanks for your comments & we hope you continue to enjoy our quality programming.
Sincerely, Showtime development department.
Bacon-Wrapped Ford Fiesta Now Possible With Vinyl Strips
Now you can roll in smoky goodness.
Ford announced Wednesday that it’s selling vinyl strips of bacon to detail 2014 Ford Fiestas.
Is this a porky prank? A crispy slice of a publicity stunt to turn one of its most popular models into a rumaki on wheels? Nope.
“It’s obviously kooky and a little irreverent,” Ford spokesman Dan Mazei told The Huffington Post. “But that was kind of the point. We thought it was a really cool way to show off how to personalize your car.”
Mazei said Ford chose the Fiesta because it was popular among millennials, a demographic looking for something different.
The carmaker timed its pitch to coincide with Saturday’s International Bacon Day.
The custom-graphic “pièce de résistance,” Ford said, is the full “Bacon Wrap,”consisting of 10 giant strips. But you better be bringing home plenty of bacon to afford it: It’ll cost you $3,347, plus installation.
Want to sizzle for less? Two strips on the hood cost $191.25 plus installation. “Mini-strips” run $78.75.
Nick Offerman (aka ron swanson) recites an epic slam poem about bacon. nuff said
just because Ron Swanson is crisping awesome!
so much winning!
sweet T-shirt using some elements from the periodic table.
(if i had a periodic table at home, id eat bacon off it)
this is funny but i do NOT concur with some of the anti-bacon sentiments mentioned herein.
a tatseful pun indeed
my hood is the birthplace of bacon in Australia!
this isnt bacon, but its pretty damn funny regardless.
inflations a bitch