Tag Archives: bacon

Study shows eating bacon will make you sexy, err i mean live longer.

Study shows eating bacon will make you sexy, err i mean live longer.

Science has enriched the lives of bacon-lovers everywhere. A study conducted by researchers at ETH Zurich has concluded that the high levels of Vitamin B3 (known as niacin) in this meat could help you live longer. 

To test this, Energy Metabolism Professor Michael Ristow fed roundworms a dose of niacin, discovering that they lived one-tenth longer than those who went without. The vitamin is also rich in the likes of Marmite, paprika, peanuts and sun-dried tomatoes.  This is surprisingly contrary to what scientiests believed, because the standard assumption has been that niacin promotes the formation of “free radicals,” causing faster ageing.

An antioxidant-rich diet has been contradicted by Ristow’s findings, which shows that niacin “tricks the body into believing that it is exercising,” perfect for any particularly lazy individual.

Next up will be testing the theory on mice, but for now allow me to personally thank science.



I ran my own independent research. Two groups of mice, 100 in each group. One group I fed only bacon. The other group was fed nothing. The group being fed bacon lived much longer.

My research remains inconclusive, however. It needs to be tested on humans. I have applied for a government grant to fund a comprehensive research program under which my same methodology will be applied to members of Congress. I am eager to begin.



Sizzling Bacon Candy not only tastes like bacon, it also turns your tongue into a frying pan. As soon as you douse your mouth in candy, the sizzling sound makes it seem like you’re cooking bacon over a campfire. Except it’s in your head and the campfire is your burning passion for bacon (and your saliva which is what activates the candy). The crackling will continue until the candy dissolves into nothing. Lots of things taste like bacon, but how many sound like bacon? You get two .34 oz. packets of carbonated candy, for a total of .7 oz. in each box. Comes in an illustrated box.

bacon bad

Dear ‘Lift Big Eat Pig’,
Thanks for your kind words and positive feedback about out hit series ‘Breaking Bad’.
However, at this time we feel that a spin-off series called ‘bacon bad’ whereby the protagonist is diagnosed with cancer & begins curing bacon in an underground lab to support his family is just not a viable premise for a series at this time.
In response to your other proposal, we do not think the same show based around baked goods called “baking bad” would work for us either.
Thanks for your comments & we hope you continue to enjoy our quality programming.
Sincerely, Showtime development department.

bacon wrapped ford feast-a


Bacon-Wrapped Ford Fiesta Now Possible With Vinyl Strips

Now you can roll in smoky goodness.

Ford announced Wednesday that it’s selling vinyl strips of bacon to detail 2014 Ford Fiestas.

Is this a porky prank? A crispy slice of a publicity stunt to turn one of its most popular models into a rumaki on wheels? Nope.

“It’s obviously kooky and a little irreverent,” Ford spokesman Dan Mazei told The Huffington Post. “But that was kind of the point. We thought it was a really cool way to show off how to personalize your car.”

Mazei said Ford chose the Fiesta because it was popular among millennials, a demographic looking for something different.

The carmaker timed its pitch to coincide with Saturday’s International Bacon Day.

The custom-graphic “pièce de résistance,” Ford said, is the full “Bacon Wrap,”consisting of 10 giant strips. But you better be bringing home plenty of bacon to afford it: It’ll cost you $3,347, plus installation.

Want to sizzle for less? Two strips on the hood cost $191.25 plus installation. “Mini-strips” run $78.75.